Do I miss him? Kinda. But do I think i'm will be happier and have a lot more fun in the long run? HELL YEAH! can I find someone better?? I don't know. probably someone more mature that's for sure. But i'm not really interested in going out and looking for a guy. I really just want this time to work on myself and really do it... really follow through on my goals and then I will feel so accomplished and confident and i'm sure I will mature a whole lot. It will be great! Just bought a coach purse coach heels juicy sweat suit. loving it!! and i'm not even spending my money i'm just returning the ugly crap i got from people haha. so yay! I'm so glad i'm not rich because getting these things wouldnt be as exciting.. having a whle wardrobe of designer clothing wouldnt be special, you know? But getting a purse or a fabulous pair of heels that i'm going to get great use out of is totally exciting! and pairing it up with something cute I bought from target even. It's FUN being a girl.
I've been working out and stretching every night and trying to eat as healthy and as portion controlled as I can. I'm not doing it for "guys" or a specific guy, i'm doing it for MEEEE. and that feels amazing :) I also got impressions of my teeth today so that I can get new retainers that will fix my teeth! thank god!!! That's something that's been bothering me. Gotta have a good smile!
anywhoooo got some magazines to read, gonna get on that and do my work out and stretches. going to return more stuff tomorrow with my grandma. and then hanging out with kelsey for new years... thank goodness she's still being nice after dummie tried to sabotage my friendship or my name.. or whatever. whatever his damn intentions were. getting attention or something. That's really not cool. That was an argument between me and him. Sorry I got a little jealous, he gets that way all the time. It is not cool to go and tell some girl he just met that I called her a skank. because she doesn't understand, I dont blame her for getting upset... that's why he should have been smart enough to not say anything... like seriously.. i dont understand how he can be so immature. wow. anyway. It doesn't bother me that bad it's just one of those "forreal?!!??" moments. one of those moments that really turns ya off. but I'm glad I met him. I've learned a lot and for the most part I thought he was cool, and you know I loved him. A lot. I miss our good times. we were together ALL the time, not many people can do that. But we did, which was cool even though we fought sometimes. But I just don't deserve to not be loved back or to not be shown that i'm loved. because i know there is someone out there who will cherish me and how much love I give. I wasn't doing anything for myself. I wasn't doing my school work, I wasn't working out. I ate a lot because I felt.. kinda depressed.. because i wasn't getting anything back. I wanted to be with him all the time but there comes a time when you realize that you're giving up way too much and not getting anything back. Although I do see that he tried, atleast by driving out to see me all the time.... but other than that... i dont know.
ok bye.
